Back to DAEMON HEART!

[sleigh]

I spoke with Sheila (my editor at DAW) and got her take on the draft for the novel so far called DAEMON HEART. I've had the comments from my first readers for some time now, and I've been thinking about the revisions I wanted to make as a result while waiting to hear from Sheila. (Many thanks and much gratitude to my intrepid crew of first readers this time around: Loni Marie Addis, Anne Evans, Anne Gray, Kelly Moffett, Denise Parsley Leigh, Devon Leigh, Megen Leigh, P. Andrew Miller, Bruce Schneier, Justin Scott, Don Wenzel, Kathleen Wilson, and Hania Wojtowicz.)

In the meantime, I'd been drafting out CROW OF CONNEMARA, the next novel up in the queue, and got about 16,000 words in. But now CROW goes on the back burner once again as I pull apart and re-assemble DAEMON HEART.

That's what this one's going to be: a total disassembly and rebuild, a much more extensive revision than usual. Sheila's comments echoed some of my own thinking and some of the comments from the first readers that had resonated with me: that the main character hasn't progressed enough in her march through time, and that she's too passive in the 'modern times' section. As Sheila and I talked, I also realized that my structure was contributing to and exacerbating the problem (that was my "Aha!" moment from our conversation). It came to me that in revising the book, I needed to follow the protagonist in straight chronology, not scrambled as I had it, in order for her progress to be visible, believable, and consistent. I also needed to have fewer "past" sections, but they will be more extensive.

So, my dear first readers, the book you eventually see won't much resemble the one you read. Oh, some of it (especially the parts that take place earliest in the protagonist's life) will retain some of the same scenes, but as we go forward in time, that will be less and less true. The 'modern' section will have to change the most.

I'm excited about this and have already started shifting scenes around in Scrivener and setting up the basic outlines, and have begun the revision. I hope to have it finished by the end of summer, but I'm not going to hold myself to that deadline -- it'll be done when it's done and I'm satisfied with it. I think all this will make DAEMON HEART a much better book... which is the whole idea!

Comments

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

"It came to me that in revising the book, I needed to follow the protagonist in straight chronology, not scrambled as I had it, in order for her progress to be visible, believable, and consistent."

I'm going to try to convince you not to do this.

1. You lessen the romantic thread, as it now has to start halfway through the novel.

2. You lose the slow reveal, as the reader learns how she became who she is -- and who the villain chasing her is. Seeing the result before understanding the progress worked well.

3. You lose the dramatic tension as the past timeline and the present time line collide.

4. You lessen the mystery, as it now has to be resolved halfway through the novel.

Think of it as two stories: her story with her immortal husband, and her story with the photographer. Having them develop in parallel is a powerful part of this book. Don't chuck it so quickly.

B

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I understand your argument (heck, that why I structured it as I did). And there's the possibility that I may retain the 'scrambled' structure. We'll see. For now, I'm writing it chronologically, which will keep me consistent with her progress. Once I go through the whole arc of her character and have it written, it would be easy enough to shift sections around if I decide that it works better the 'old' way.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I agree that your hero needs to grow more as she "ages." And I definitely agree that you need to write the story chronologically. But I definitely think her two stories have much more impact when presented side to side than sequentially.

B

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

And the nonchalance with which you talked about completely reorganized your book inspired me to go through with the major reorganization I had been thinking about for my book. I basically shuffled the chapters. It works better. So thank you.

B

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! :-)

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

It's a big deal. The chapter ordering is now 1, 7, 8, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 3, 4, 13+.

B

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Structure matters in a narrative -- fiction or non-fiction.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Wait. It's really 1, 7, 8A, 6A, 5, 6B, 2, 8B, 9, 10, 11, 12, 3, 4, 13+

It just occurred to me, in the shower, to split those chapters up.

And yes, structure matters a lot in both fiction and non-fiction. Fiction, though, generally has a pretty obvious temporal structure. Non-fiction often has a gazillion different ways to wander through the material. I definitely think of my books as telling a story.

B