Not Much of a Life

[sleigh]

In my Novel Writing class, I generally use one of my last classes of the semester to answer "Frequently Asked Questions" from my students, giving them the chance to get at stuff I might not have covered, or ask questions that might not have been asked in class, or to get at information that needs further clarification. I did the FAQs last week for the class, and one question I got this time (and usually get, honestly) was "Since we have to have give you at least 10,000 words of writing for this class, how many words did you produce over the semester?"

It's a fair question, after all. I do expect a lot from the students in that class; they should expect the same of me. So I sat down and figured out what I'd done with my own writing over the course of the semester. Here's what I gave them as my answer:

-- I wrote a poem or two
-- I wrote a blog post every other day or so (that’s a few thousand words there...)
-- I wrote lesson plans and created presentations
-- I wrote critiques of student work for the Novel class as well as the Intro To Creative Writing class (lots of those, generally five or six a week, at roughly 500 words a shot)
-- I answered e-mails... (lots of that, too...)

"Yeah," someone muttered at that point, "but none of that's fiction..." I grinned, because I wasn't finished yet.

-- I proofed the galleys for DARK WATER’S EMBRACE (a lot of work, but no new words)
-- I revised THE WOODS to my agent’s critique, which went from about 62,500 words to close to 65,000: 2,500+ words
-- A MAGIC OF DAWN, my current work-in-progress, was at a little less than 10,000 words when we started the semester. It’s now at 19,500 words (9,500+ words) [NOTE: as I write this today, it's now at 23,000 words...]
-- I wrote (then re-wrote to editorial critique) a novella for George RR Martin’s latest WILD CARDS book: 27,750+ words

So for fiction alone, I had ‘forward progress’ of a bit more than 40,000 words during this semester. along with a close proofreading and two significant revisions.

I ended with this statement: "I obviously don’t have much of a life..." It got the expected laugh. And I told them that I pointed this out not to brag, but because they asked, and as an illustration that even if you're working full-time or going to school full-time, you can still make time to write and get a substantial amount accomplished, if you want it badly enough. If you're driven to do it.

But I've been thinking about that a little over the intervening week. I really am a bit OC about writing. I spend the vast majority of my time in front of the computer or near it, either working on school stuff or writing. The school work I do because it's part of my job; the writing I do because it's what I want to do. But...

It does mean that there's no 'down' time. Ever. It means that there's very little 'free' time. It means that sometimes Denise gets short thrift, because I'm in my office rather than with her. It means that things sometimes don't get done around the house that should probably be done. It means... well, you get the idea.

I do sometimes wonder if it's healthy. I do wonder if it's the best thing I could be doing. Could I be a better teacher if I did less writing? Could I be a better spouse? A better friend? A better person?

But I can't imagine not writing. To a large degree, I define myself by my writing. What am I?--I'm a 'writer.' So I do it . But I do wonder sometimes about the choice I've made, and think "What if...?"

What if...?

Oh, wait a moment! I wonder if I couldn't I pull another story out of that?

Comments

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

This absolutely strokes a chord for me. My career right now is at a place where writing a lot would be a good idea (late books on contract, popping into radar, etc.); but it's very hard to do so. A fulltime job, climbing (regular physical activity is mandatory for my mental health), my part-time nonacademic teaching fill my life. I can write more (and I am trying right now), but my already slim social life suffers -- no dating, no new friends, no new hobbies.

My right livelihood is writing and teaching people how to explore themselves (I almost said "confront") through words. But the need to meet my other requirements and my medical expenses means I spend most of my time away from the writing and teaching -- which takes me even farther away. I am turning down a perfect teaching gig this spring because I am already using up all of next year's vacation on other teaching gigs (none left over for an actual, you know, vacation). A few more teaching gigs and I could take a leave from work (maybe), but in the meantime I am turning opportunities down.

Not that you needed to know any of this! But you are plugging into the #1 thing on my mind right now.

Anyway, I am thinking a lot about this.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I understand. Believe me, I do. I hear a lot of talk about how there should be 'balance' in one's life, but I'm not balanced. I lean heavily to writing. I should spend more time with Denise; I should do more work on the house; I'd love to be at Aikido more than one or two days a week (and the exercise would be good for me, too); I'd love to spend a few hours a day practicing music; I'd love to have more time with our friends (who we see all too rarely); I'd love to be able to get back into painting and drawing, which I sometimes miss terribly; I'd love to...

On and on. But I'm limited by time and by necessity. And by the fact that I'm simply not happy if I'm not writing...

Hmm...

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>> Could I be a better teacher if I did less writing?<<

Probably.

>> Could I be a better spouse? A better friend? <<

Maaayyybe...

>> A better person? <<

... but ultimately, no. Because a person who writes as much as you do, and as well as you do, is a person with "writing" on their Life List. When you do the things you came into this life to do, it makes you happy and fulfilled; when you don't, it leaves you feeling unsatisfied, always searching for what's missing.

[richrichmond.livejournal.com]

i guess you have this in any profession; the high powered business executive, the traveling salesman, doctors, ect. People who may or may not spend too much time or are obsessed with work, whatever their work may be.

Its funny, often when discussing the unique diversity of people I work with I often refer to you as "the coolest person I know". A professor, celebrated published author, talented active musician, and a mac user and Apple employee to boot. I never thought till now, when on earth do you have time for all that? I think you have balance, a proper balance appropriate to your lifestyle. it seems you and denise have a great relationship and you always seem happy and passionate about your chosen endevours. that sounds balanced to me.

i often struggle with my situation, like if i didnt stay home with the kids, if making more money would be better for us, but we chose to have a bit less money in order to keep our kids out of day care and have one of us available almost always for the kids.I see Wes go off to school and watch these kids grow up and I know I like that better than I would any job or career. I work enough to help with the bills and put those kids in private school and thats all I need.

i say kiss denise once more each day email the kids once more each day and keep on writing! (just keep a guitar and a drawing pad or easel in your office for breaks or writer block)

[greenmtnboy18.livejournal.com]

Wow... thanks for posting this. I actually have this thought process on a (far too) regular basis, and get a little weirded out by it. (And I produce significantly less writing than you do regularly -- this "semester" was just over 20,000 words for fiction. Day job writing adds to that, but it's very much NOT fiction.) Oddly, it's reassuring that someone of your stature/writing accomplishments thinks about this as well.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Nice answer.

I've never tried to tally all my words for a period of time. It's so variable.

B

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw your post about that... New word counts are fine and all when you're drafting, but once you've hit THE END and are going back over and polishing and polishing, you're doing the real work of writing -- the genuinely important stuff -- and because you're generally not adding significant 'new words' (and may in fact be cutting words), there's sometimes a feeling of not enough forward progress.

And that's exactly the wrong way to feel. The revision process is at least if not more important than the drafting process; it just doesn't have a nice, clean way to track it.