Customer Disservice

[sleigh]

So... Denise mentioned yesterday evening (while I was dealing with a stomach virus) that the internet was out. I checked the cable modem; yep, the CBL light was out. I tried resetting the modem a few times -- no luck. So we left it overnight, hoping it was an issue on their end and we would be linked up to all those intertubes in the morning.

Nope. This morning, it was still out. I use Earthlink's broadband service, which means here locally that I'm actually using Time Warner's Roadrunner cable service. I called Time Warner and was 'treated' to their voice recognition software (hereafter VRS) phone tree, with an overly-enthusiastic recorded voice. After some stumbling around ("I believe you said you're having trouble with your internet service") the VRS suggested I try resetting the modem -- which, of course, I'd already done three or four times. "After you've tried resetting the modem, if you still don't have service, please call us back. Thank you. Goodbye!"

"Wait!" I cried, but too late -- I was disconnected. I called back. This time, when I said "I'm having trouble with the internet service" the VRS said "I understand that you're having trouble with your cable TV service" and started to tell me how to reset the TV's cable box. Nothing she was offering could get me back a step in the process. So I ended up just giving her a gibberish response. And hey, that worked! After a few "I can't understand you" comments, I was finally connected to a help desk. They took the usual information (which the VRS supposedly already had), and said "Oh, this is the cable TV help desk. Let me transfer you..."

After a few minutes of musak/Time Warner propoganda, I was connected to Tricia on the internet help desk. She took all the same information yet again, then couldn't seem to find me in the system until I mentioned that our service was through Earthlink. Once she'd determined that I actually did have an account, she suggested I reset the modem. I told her I'd done that already. Several times. She said "Did you leave it powered off for two minutes?" No, I said, I hadn't. So we did that. Still the same result. She fiddled with something on her end, then suggested that it was a line problem, and that she'd have to transfer me to "a higher level of support." She said "I'm going to transfer you now." Then followed three minutes or so of TW propoganda, at which point Tricia came back on the line and said "I have Audrey for you. Just in case she asks, let me give you a ticket number for the problem." She did so, then said: "Let me transfer you now."

A click.

A squeal of static.

The Bell Telephone recording: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up..."

Shit. Disconnected.

So far, I'd been on the phone for half an hour. I called back (again), and this time gave the VRS gibberish right from the start because I wasn't about to go through ten minutes of the stupid phone tree once more. After a couple rounds of "I can't understand you..." I was again connected to a help desk. This person -- after taking all my information (yep, again) and again determining that I indeed had an account -- asked if I'd reset the modem. I gave her the whole long tale, told her I had a ticket number and would like to be reconnected to the "higher level of support" because Tricia thought it was a line problem.

"Oh, it's not a line problem," this person told me. "We need to send out a service person. They can be there Friday."

Two days from now... "That's simply not acceptable," I told her. "Can't you get me back to the people I was talking with?"

"There's no need for that," she said with a nearly audible sniff. "I can tell from here that there's not a line problem."

"You're telling me that you can't get someone out here before Friday."

Pause. "I'm sorry, there's no one available before that."

We went back and forth for a bit; she wasn't budging -- in fact, she was rather snotty about it. It was Friday or nothing, and no sympathy. "If you want, you might try taking your cable modem to one of our stores and getting a new one. If that works, just call us and cancel the service call." So I got the location of the nearest store, half an hour away, and hung up. Total time on this so far: forty minutes, give or take a few. And I was not a happy Time Warner customer.

So I drove to the Time Warner store and swapped out the modem -- a very nice gentleman there said that "Yep, those are old modems and we've been having lots of problems with them. This should fix it." Feeling relatively confident, I returned home and plugged in the modem. A minute or so later, all the lights were on, indicating that I had connection. I went to the computer, but...

When I kicked up Firefox, I was taken to a set-up screen (complete with a lovely misspelling: "Your MAC accress appears on the left") which told me to call Time Warner and give them the Media Access Control (MAC) number. So I called the number. I spoke to the VRS again, who told me I had a service call scheduled for Friday and asked if I wanted to reschedule it, cancel it, or get the Main Menu. I asked for the Main Menu, and told the VRS I need to "Set up the cable modem." The VRS excitedly told me "OK! Setting up your cable TV. Do you currently see a blue screen, or..." Aargh!!! I quickly starting spouting gibberish, and after complaining that she couldn't understand me, the VRS finally said she'd connect me to the help desk.

Nothing happened. No music, no nothing. Then: "If you'd like to make a call..."

I hung up and tried again, this time speaking gibberish immediately, and getting transferred to a help desk. I explained the issue. She said "Just a moment, please," and put me on hold. I listened to Time Warner propoganda for eight minutes this time -- which doesn't translate to me as "Just a moment..." But finally someone came on the line. I again explained the situation and again gave them phone number, address, etc. I offered her the MAC number, but she said she didn't need it. "Oh, I just have to clear the error from the new modem." I heard the rattling of keys. Nothing changed on the computer. She asked if I was using a router, I said I was and she asked me to unplug it and plug it back in. I did so.

Voila! Internet!

She then mentioned that I had a call scheduled and said we'd still need to have the tech come out since "one of the signals is really low." Hah! -- so there is a line problem... Friday a tech will be out, but in the meantime I do have service.

But I'm still not a happy Time Warner camper. Their Customer Service sucks. I can tell them how to improve it 100% -- first, get rid of that f***ng useless, annoying, and stupid VRS and get me right to a person on the help desk. The second action for improvement would be for the various help desks to actually communicate with each other, so that I don't have to repeat information every time. The third action would be to upgrade their systems so that disconnects don't occur -- three disconnects on one issue are three too many. The fourth strategy would be to incorporate a "Thank you for holding. Your call should be answered with XX minutes..." loop into their hold garbage, since I had no clue how long it might take for someone to get back to me and I nearly hung up again before a rep finally answered. The fifth action would be to upgrade their customer reps; the snotty one I had was on the edge of rude, enough that I probably should have asked for her supervisor, except by that time I was boiling and didn't think I could be calm enough. I suspect that this fifth call for action is one most Customer Service departments have an issue with -- I can well imagine that the job is a lousy one and doesn't pay well... but that still doesn't excuse rudeness.

Not happy. Not at all. But at least I can get my e-mail again...

Comments

Shocked!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm shocked that they forgot to tell you help was available at their website...

Re: Shocked!

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Actually, they did -- while I we did the "two minute" reset, the rep told me about the great help website they had. I refrained from mentioning that when your internet service is out, a great website is about as useful as a bicycle for fish.

Re: Shocked!

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Oops, my phone decided not to keep me logged in...

I just love it when they take all kinds of information from you and then throw it away the second they hand you off to a human. Such technology! Designed to piss off humans.

[maiac.livejournal.com]

I hope you never have to use this tip, but... an effective way to get a prompt response without all the runaround is to say, "Hello, I'm a customer who's that close to cancelling my service because I'm so frustrated and angry about the problems I've been having. What can you do to keep me from cancelling?"

I hate VRS with the hatred of a just-bathed cat on a leash. I HATE having to talk to a recording instead of pushing the buttons.

I understand why Customer "Service" systems route us customers through do-it-yourself options before letting us talk to a real person, because most problems are things people can solve for themselves if they're forced to think about it. But it's infuriating when you don't have the option to cut through the bullshit when you've already done it yourself.

And Earthlink? Used to have stellar customer service until they outsourced it. Every time I've contacted customer service, and gotten the feedback form afterward, I bitch about the communication problems and the service rep's lack of knowledge, and tell them they need to bring the Customer Service back home so the reps speak the same languages their customers do.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Next time, that's the line I'll use!

And yeah, now I too have a distinct hatred of VRS systems...

[janetmk.livejournal.com]

Grrr, that's a royal pain. Excellent rant.

I understand that most of these VRS systems have secret words that you can use instead of gibberish to short circuit the system and connect you with a person. "Agent" is one recognized by Verizon's repair service. If you should find yourself talking to a customer service person at TW again, ask them what their secret word is.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I'll ask, but I have learned that gibberish works. They don't understand "Constantinople Venice Florence Paris."

[jbru.livejournal.com]

My response when encountering any VRS system (ran into one for scheduling a DHL pickup recently) is to repeat in response to its queries, "I want to talk to a human," until it complies.

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

And the frustrating thing is that when I shriek "Give me a goddamn human, you fucking stupid machine!" it doesn't do it any faster. ;-)

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but there is a certain satisfaction in the shouting. :-)

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

I had a similar experience with Verizon DSL (which is why I ended up with a Time Warner cable modem...) I 100% agree with your wish list, though I would prioritize it a little differently. I understand the purpose behind stupid VRS and phone tree menus, but I have chosen never to play the game. I either steadfastly push "0" or give them gibberish right from the get-go.

I think the reason you're asked for your information over and over again is so they can make sure the correct person was transferred to them. It's possible for them to get the information of another guy on hold but get you on the line instead. (Of course, the best solution would be for them to figure out how to avoid that, but I suspect the solution is complicated and expensive.)

I hate the disconnects. When I was dealing with Verizon, I would get disconnects after forty-five minutes on hold. That was what sent me over the edge and made me drop them before my DSL was even working. And I totally agree that the "you call should be answered in XX minutes" messages are remarkably effective. It's nice to know if I have time to go to the bathroom, and it's easier to be patient if you can count actual progress as the clock ticks down.

Verizon had polite but unknowledgeable service reps. Oddly, the rep I spoke with when I called to cancel was charming and polite. I suppose they put their best on the last line of defense, but to me it was sending their best to close the stable door after the horse had run out. There was nothing she could have said that would have kept me as a customer. Well, okay, maybe "We'll send you several large gold bricks," but I'm pretty sure that wasn't going to happen.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Yep. Without the "your call will be answered in..." reminders, you're left to wonder you've been placed on hold and simply become a forgotten blinking light on someone's console...

[born-to-me.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the customer service issues... I really do empathize.

However, I just have to say "EXCELLENT music!!" ;-) (huge Kate Bush fan, even turned gundo, Mr. Hard Rock Guitar, on to her a bit.)

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Kate Bush is one of my long-time favorites. I think I have pretty much everything she's ever done.

Kate..

[jdonat.livejournal.com]

Gee, isn't that a surprise -We've got a bunch. I should talk to you to see what newer stuff you have that we don't.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

Nice rant.

A similar experience is why we no longer use AT&T as our DSL provider. The help desk people fingered, in turn, everything but the thing that was broken as the source of our problems, in spite of my repeated observation that I thought the DSL modem was the problem.

And I hate VRS with a blinding passion.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to think that "help desk" is as much an oxymoron as "military intelligence."

[daedala.livejournal.com]

Another hates-vrs-person here. I have also conceived a deep, personal hatred of the woman whose voice a lot of systems use. I remember getting a system that used a different voice and being inordinately pleased.

One of the big problems is that my voice seems to be difficult to read.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

What's that? I didn't understand you. :-)

[madtruk.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Would you like to:

1. Improve the overall level of customer service?
2. Improve the overall level of employment in the US?
3. Continue to hold and hope that a $40 digital TV coupon will solve your health care problem?
4. Go back to bed and pretend it never happened?

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

5. Achieve world peace and pay my utility bill.

[shhbabe.livejournal.com]

To bypass the VRS, say Representative. It'll connect you to a person.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I'll try that rather than reciting city names to it (or yelling "No, you stupid ****ing software!!!!" at it) next time. :-)

[alces2.livejournal.com]

Yes, VRS sucks, recorded messages suck, many first line people suck (well, sorry, that's probably rude, saying that about another human being, oh well). As noted, sometimes special words work, agent, or maybe operator. Sometimes pressing 0 (zero) many times or * (asterisk) many times works. I love getting people who say their name is Tom or Jim or Sara and you can determine with not much difficulty that they're talking to you from some other part of the world and in all likelihood that is not their name, not that anyone cares. Hey, who needs a personal touch? This is a disembodied voice. Can you read a script and say the same questions over and over again just as good as VRS? Now, my guess is that first line people may not get paid a lot but still . . . I keep recalling this very peaceful summer in Manhattan, Kansas between semesters and I didn't have a computer, nor internet connection, and no one else was living in the household, and I planted flowers and walked to cheap kiddie matinees on Saturday afternoon. I didn't have cable or satellite tv, just a few channels that I could get on the antenna so didn't really watch much tv, read books, wrote LoCs to fanzines with pen and paper. Very peaceful. Oh, and I didn't have much money so I was even relatively thin then and probably much healthier because of no money for junk food and having to walk because I didn't have enough money to fix the car. Ah yes, back in the days . . . .

[maiac.livejournal.com]

By the way, I have found that with some companies I get an intelligent and helpful customer service rep every other phone call. I call, endure stupidity, hang up, call back, and get my problem solved. Go figure.

Best Customer Service ever? Credo (until recently Working Assets), my long distance and cellphone service provider. They are awesome. When I call, I get a recorded message with a menu of options before I can talk to a real person, but I can press buttons instead of talking and one of the options is to talk to a real person. They're always polite and cheerful, and I have always had my question answered or problem solved on the first try. So it is possible to provide good customer service. It's significant that they're a nonprofit, so they don't skimp on the service in order to increase the CEO's pay.

[jdonat.livejournal.com]

I truly also hate those digital voice systems. I usually hit 0 or say agent until i get a human.
If I'm calling about my Internet service, I usually let them know that 1st level support is useless to me thusly... I'm very polite about it, but I ask for their 2nd or 3rd level support person because....
1. I've already checked all my systems on my home network and they all see the router, and the router sees the cable modem because I can connect to it.
2. Yes, I have a router, and it's connected correctly, and a network with multiple systems, most of them not windoze.
3 I've connected to the cable modem itself (usually 192.168.100.1 or something like that) and it's not seeing your network connections (I don't see any TCP/IP information from the cable modem itself)
4. I know more about TCP/IP, DNS, routing, DHCP, etc than you'll ever know.... so can you please get me to 2nd or 3rd level support?
I do that, and get 2nd or 3rd level support every time. Once, I got 2nd level support and got the question from the tech... ooooh, who do you work for? I answered, Sun Microsystems, and he said.. "wow! that's what's in our data center here in Lombard!" I answered, with... "why, yes, I helped install most of them last year -I was part of a group of 5 Sun Engineers that installed these systems over a weekend!" Game/set/match.
Now, when I call Comcast, they just talk to me for about 30 seconds, and send me upstairs. I guess that this is in my customer profile.
Let me know what model cable modem you have, and I'll get you the IP address for it, and you can check it out before you call the customer disservice drones...

We may be switching to the new ATT service soon -we'll see how it goes.