For the locals...

[sleigh]

 TOAST!

Will be playing Saturday, June 16 at DeSha’s

in Montgomery from 8:00 – 11:00

(Please do not read past this point. Vital brain cells will be depleted with every syllable.)

In celebration of the new, YUGE agreement between the USA and North Korea….

What’s that? You haven’t heard about the big agreement…..?

Oh. Well, we’ll keep that to ourselves then.

But it’s a done deal! Completed it last month. Oh yeah! And it’s the Bigliest!!

OK. Shhh. Here’s just a bit of the background. Don’t tell anybody.

North Korean envoy, Mik Eruss Ell, who is also (just coincidentally for this bit) a percussionist, secretly met with TOAST!’s very own drummer Tom Vogeli while Vogeli was in Rome last month (disguised as a photographer). We’re told that details of the groundbreaking deal between our countries were ‘banged out’ then.

Former South Korean Minister of Monasterial Music, Ric Hag Ee, met with TOAST!’s bass player (and somehow secretly employed by the State Department for this bit), Steve Leigh, last month at a secret Starbucks location to discuss resolution of the suspended A-chord (or was it G-chord?). Although agreement was apparently reached in theory, no details have yet been released – as Hag Ee and Leigh were jailed by police and neither can get out as they await new monitors, though Leigh says he has one coming from Sweetwater. The Starbucks manager said that Hag Ee continually asked her to turn up the volume on the Muzak until he could actually hear it – which was also the point where the other patrons were running for the doors covering their bleeding ears. That's when the police were called. When Leigh tried to reason with the officers, they accused Leigh, who had one lens poked out of his glasses due to recent eye surgery, of ‘looking funny,' and put him in cuffs as well.

Singapore’s head of guest relations, Dal Ele Wis, announced that gold prices had risen dramatically as he prepared the Presidential suites for Trump and Kim. “it takes a lot of gold to form golden toilets, bathtubs and sinks” said Wis. “Showers? No. I haven’t priced showers”.

TOAST!’s Tom Steele has scrapped plans to slowly release, via Wiki-leaks, a dossier with incriminating evidence procured from an I-phone procured by a Russian spy (known only as S.G.) and then re-procured by Steele’s long-lost cousin (and ACTUAL spy - Christopher Steele) from a certain undercover photographer in a certain ancient country just last month. (What country? It starts with "I" and rhymes with 'pitifully'.) Said Steele, “Move along folks. Nothing to see here, not that Steve Leigh could see it anyway."

TOAST! DeSHA'S. This Saturday. 8:00 - 11:00.