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This will be Whistleblower Friday at DeSha's, from 7:30 - 11:00! TOAST is ready to reveal the terrible truths that the bars and nightclubs don't want you to know. Even though we've all taken refuge in Hong Kong for the last two weeks, we're set to make a final appearance at DeSha's this Friday night just to expose all the information that is being collected about you.
That's right. Have you ever been to a place where you're a regular customer, walked up to the bar, and the bartender doesn't even ask you what you want? No, she just turns around and gives it to you? Yep -- that's because your personal tastes have been collected and put in the database.
Ever wonder what it is that Steve has on the music stand in front of him? Hint: it's not chords and words to the songs, it's NATIONAL SECRETS, like how many musicians it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Ever watch SG or Tom Steele try to set up their equipment? It's so complicated and difficult because the Iwi master unit along with Tom's amplifier are also sucking in data from every smartphone within twenty meters. You think Rick needs that many keyboards, or that Mike has to have all those strange and bizarre percussion instruments? That's because they're not keyboards and percussion instruments: they're listening devices.
I mean, you know that Tom Vogel can't actually be a drummer. I mean, just listen to him play. He's not a drummer; he's the mastermind behind all this, and he's just there to keep an eye on us (his left one, we think--it's so very sinister). And Dale Lewis -- I mean, c'mon, no real musician would wear checkered sneakers; he's actually Vogel's secretary.
We're telling you -- all those bands out there? They're all part of a national conspiracy to gather information about how people spend their spare time. We're not cover bands: we're cover-up bands.
So if you want to know what really going on, if you want to hear more about the greatest risk yet to our national security, you'd better be at DeSha's this Friday night. In fact, we already know you're going to be there, because we're always listening. All the time.
MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Your covert band, TOAST!
That's right. Have you ever been to a place where you're a regular customer, walked up to the bar, and the bartender doesn't even ask you what you want? No, she just turns around and gives it to you? Yep -- that's because your personal tastes have been collected and put in the database.
Ever wonder what it is that Steve has on the music stand in front of him? Hint: it's not chords and words to the songs, it's NATIONAL SECRETS, like how many musicians it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Ever watch SG or Tom Steele try to set up their equipment? It's so complicated and difficult because the Iwi master unit along with Tom's amplifier are also sucking in data from every smartphone within twenty meters. You think Rick needs that many keyboards, or that Mike has to have all those strange and bizarre percussion instruments? That's because they're not keyboards and percussion instruments: they're listening devices.
I mean, you know that Tom Vogel can't actually be a drummer. I mean, just listen to him play. He's not a drummer; he's the mastermind behind all this, and he's just there to keep an eye on us (his left one, we think--it's so very sinister). And Dale Lewis -- I mean, c'mon, no real musician would wear checkered sneakers; he's actually Vogel's secretary.
We're telling you -- all those bands out there? They're all part of a national conspiracy to gather information about how people spend their spare time. We're not cover bands: we're cover-up bands.
So if you want to know what really going on, if you want to hear more about the greatest risk yet to our national security, you'd better be at DeSha's this Friday night. In fact, we already know you're going to be there, because we're always listening. All the time.
MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Your covert band, TOAST!