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I was stunned by the response to the last post -- over on Facebook especially, it literally blew away all the response numbers for any other post I’ve ever written. Thanks to those of you who came to read -- and hey, I hope you stick around…
What is it about boys -- and, it seems, especially athletes -- who seem to feel that they can do anything and whatever they want, and remain mostly unpunished for their actions? How do they come to that conclusion? I suspect that it’s because they’ve grown used to adulation from a young age, that their peers flock to them (both male and female) to bask in the reflected glory of their presence. They’re used to being offered favors for their momentary friendship, and so they think that everyone will respond to them in the same way: that a “no” is just a false politeness that actually means “I’m just protesting because I’m supposed to, and I really want you to keep going”; that if someone complains afterward, that coach or their teachers or their parents will just wave their hand and dismiss it; that their position gives them immunity.
We see this same phenomenon in professional sports all the time -- how many pro players have done stupid/illegal/morally bankrupt deeds and, after a slap on the wrist, been brought back onto the team because of their star status? The teams, their owners, and their fans are more concerned with winning than with morality.
And it’s not just sports: this scenario plays out elsewhere, too, because at its core, this type of abuse is about power and status, and so we see it in corporations, in politics, in finance, in the military, anywhere were someone is in a position of power over other people.
As a writer, I’ve used this myself, over and over and over: power and the abuse of power makes for good fiction. In real life, though, the pain the “characters” feel is genuine, not fictional…
Some of us -- and I’m as guilty of this as the next person -- have been responsible for the continuation of this issue. When you meet someone “famous,” don’t you immediately want to tell all your friends? “Hey, I got a chance to talk to X, and…” You get a picture of you with the ‘special’ person and show it around; maybe you even frame it and put it on your wall. You keep a memento of the moment, and occasionally drag it out to give the anecdote again. We all like to snatch a little bit of the light and glory from the famous people we rub up against -- but every time we do that, we bolster the illusion that these people are somehow special and on a plane of privilege above us.
What we need to remember is that these people are just that: people. They’re no more ‘special’ and no more ‘privileged’ than we are, and if we treat them as if they are, then we are contributing to a culture that allows a high school star football player to think that they can do whatever they want and get away with it.
That’s my musing for the day, anyway. What are your thoughts? I’d be interested in hearing them...
What is it about boys -- and, it seems, especially athletes -- who seem to feel that they can do anything and whatever they want, and remain mostly unpunished for their actions? How do they come to that conclusion? I suspect that it’s because they’ve grown used to adulation from a young age, that their peers flock to them (both male and female) to bask in the reflected glory of their presence. They’re used to being offered favors for their momentary friendship, and so they think that everyone will respond to them in the same way: that a “no” is just a false politeness that actually means “I’m just protesting because I’m supposed to, and I really want you to keep going”; that if someone complains afterward, that coach or their teachers or their parents will just wave their hand and dismiss it; that their position gives them immunity.
We see this same phenomenon in professional sports all the time -- how many pro players have done stupid/illegal/morally bankrupt deeds and, after a slap on the wrist, been brought back onto the team because of their star status? The teams, their owners, and their fans are more concerned with winning than with morality.
And it’s not just sports: this scenario plays out elsewhere, too, because at its core, this type of abuse is about power and status, and so we see it in corporations, in politics, in finance, in the military, anywhere were someone is in a position of power over other people.
As a writer, I’ve used this myself, over and over and over: power and the abuse of power makes for good fiction. In real life, though, the pain the “characters” feel is genuine, not fictional…
Some of us -- and I’m as guilty of this as the next person -- have been responsible for the continuation of this issue. When you meet someone “famous,” don’t you immediately want to tell all your friends? “Hey, I got a chance to talk to X, and…” You get a picture of you with the ‘special’ person and show it around; maybe you even frame it and put it on your wall. You keep a memento of the moment, and occasionally drag it out to give the anecdote again. We all like to snatch a little bit of the light and glory from the famous people we rub up against -- but every time we do that, we bolster the illusion that these people are somehow special and on a plane of privilege above us.
What we need to remember is that these people are just that: people. They’re no more ‘special’ and no more ‘privileged’ than we are, and if we treat them as if they are, then we are contributing to a culture that allows a high school star football player to think that they can do whatever they want and get away with it.
That’s my musing for the day, anyway. What are your thoughts? I’d be interested in hearing them...