Empty Nest, The Sequel

[sleigh]

Sunday, Devon moved out to a two-family house owned by his friend (and bass player) -- nice place, too, with a great view of the city and large rooms. Being in a house with a bassist and at least one other drummer could be interesting (and noisy), but hey…

So Denise and I are once again empty-nested. It felt strange to realize that Devon wouldn't be coming 'home' last night, that he wouldn't be upstairs in his third floor bedroom when we woke up, that he wouldn't be trundling downstairs for coffee. Overall, Devon's been an excellent housemate for the last several months…

We need to get used to being 'by ourselves' again. I'm sure, though, that we'll manage. :-) And who knows, one or the other of our kids could end up back with us at some point, though that's becoming increasingly unlikely.

Comments

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

I'm fascinated by different cultural takes on how parents feel about the kids moving out. In some cultures, they want the kids to live at home forever, bringing in their wives (usually, but maybe in some cultures, husbands?) and living in a gigantic extended family.

Whereas in my family, the whole goal is to get the kids raised up enough to get out on their own. Maybe the last few will be encouraged to stay rather than completely empty the nest. (My theory is that this comes out of the potato famine, where the farms weren't able to feed large families and the best survival tactic was to encourage the kids to emigrate.)

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I liked having my son around for a while back around Christmas, so I know the mixed feelings.

K.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I'd have to do the research, but it seems to me that here in the States, back in the late 19th and early 20th century, it was pretty common for three generations or so to be living under the same roof. I think of the Thurber tales, where the whole extended family is living together (sometimes with dubious results).

But yes, I find fascinating the various cultural differences regarding familial relationships.

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Yep. On one hand, it's good that the kids are off on their own, but part of me misses their presence.

[ontology101.livejournal.com]

It's not really a secret that I wish Dustin was ready to move. Don't worry....it's not as harsh as it sounds. I was ready to be out when I was 18. I embraced my independence with open arms and a lovely (but misguided) sense that I was completely ready to be my own person. I want Dustin to feel that joy and freedom. I want him to have this sense of adventure and enthusiasm. I don't want him to move too far (across the street to the EMU campus would be okay). I want him home for Sunday dinner and game nights. Instead, he is a homebody who loves spending time with his Dad more than anyone else. Don seems equally happy with this arrangement (but acknowledges Dustin's need to move forward). My brother and my Dad were best friends so I understand and "approve" of their relationship but it does thwart my plans for Dustin. Be proud of your kids' having wings and make the most of your time apart and together!